On May 21, our Letter of Intent (LOI) was sent to China declaring that we wanted to adopt Ling Ling - Zoe. We expected to receive Pre-approval (PA) in about 2 weeks - so somewhere around June 3, assuming everything moved through smoothly. Our LOI was submitted just before the Chinese Children's Welfare Agency (CCCWA) closed down for a week due to a transfer to a new database. The switch was supposed to have taken one week, from May 24-31. Instead it took two weeks. Even though the database is up and running, it appears to be fraught with issues. Alas, one of those issues, we learned today, is that Zoe's file has been lost. We are still matched with her, she is still ours, but the waiting continues as we do not know when we will get PA. It could be days or weeks. I was told that, quite frankly, finding her file is not high on the priority list. Our wonderful Lifeline team is watching the situation and keeping us informed as best they can.
I'm not even sure I can describe how I feel about this news. Sad, disappointed, maybe even a little "lost" myself. My feelings are only intensified by the recent news that our Minister of Music is battling stage 4 prostrate cancer and the grief I feel for the Hammond's who had to relinquish their precious John Thomas into the arms of Jesus this past week. I try to recall some of the scriptures that speak of waiting on the Lord, but none of them bring much comfort right now.
However, as I try to think through all this, I am reminded, yet again, of the verse I claimed as my own many years ago. It comes from Exodus, Exodus 14:14 - I know, a strange place to find a life verse, but it's the one God gave me! A little back story. The Israelites have left Egypt. At first Pharoah lets them go, but he soon decides that he has made a big mistake. He and ALL of his horses, chariots, horsemen, and troops follow them to the sea, where the Israelites have camped. The Israelites look up and see them marching toward them. They cry out to Moses, "Was it because there were not graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? Didn't we say to you in Egypt, 'Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians'? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!" Moses replies, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."
So, as I ask all of my questions, sometimes harsh ones like the Israelites asked, I am reminded that there is nothing for me to do. I must be still and let HIM fight for me and for Zoe and trust that for a reason I cannot see, today we must wait.