I do not like roller coasters, have never liked them. So, I guess it is kind of odd that I have
adopted one child and am adopting another since adoption in and of itself is a
roller coaster ride. When human emotions
are added into the mix, it can be a tough ride at times – emotions are
constantly up and down. Hoping you can
find the funds to complete the adoption, and sighing with relief for every
payment made; mounds of paper work that seem overwhelming, then rejoicing when
it is all completed; waiting on all the dossier documents to be gathered and
marking it on the calendar when the dossier goes to China; waiting for a Log In
Date and wondering how long it will be before you are matched with a child….
And the ultimate emotional high – finally being matched with a child and
knowing it is only a short time before you will hold that child in your arms.
We had known these ups and downs with our first adoption of
Kayleigh, but overall, her adoption went very smoothly. We seemed to be ahead of the curve at every
turn. We received a referral only days
after our dossier went to China, and we left for China exactly 4 months later
to get her. It spoiled us because
everything went so well! We expected the
second to be just as easy.
In many ways, the second adoption has been just as
easy. The paper work went fairly
smoothly; there were things that we did for the first adoption that we didn’t
have to do for this one; some expenses from the first adoption were not necessary
this time. Once we got to the point that
our dossier went to China, things began to take a different turn from the
first. Our dossier was mailed to China on February 25.
One week, two weeks, 3 weeks, 4 weeks…. Finally, on March
25, we received word that our dossier was logged in, and we were eligible to be
matched! We received the call at 10:30
p.m. Monday night, March 25. Our agency
had a file for us to consider! Woohoo! The emotional butterflies were fluttering.
Was this our child? At first glance, the
file seemed very promising. For the most part, she was a healthy 11 month old
little girl. She had extremely chubby cheeks and large black eyes. Her needs seemed to be minor – partial
hearing loss and CMV – cytomegalovirus. We began praying and researching. The emotional high slowly went to an
emotional low. After talking with the
pediatrician and the speech pathologist and doing our own research, we were
going to have to decline the referral. Her
hearing loss was already severe, and she could possibly be deaf by the age of 6
or 7. The risk that the CMV could cause
other issues was too high. There were too many issues to contend with and too
many unknowns for the future. Of course,
any international adoption comes with unknowns, but there were more than we
felt we were equipped to handle. We felt
at peace with our decision, and we settled in to wait another month for the
next shared list to be released.
But, wait! We didn’t
have to wait another month. We received another call on April 1. April Fool’s Day was going to take on a new
meaning! We were back on the emotional
high. A new file was sent to us. This
one looked even more promising than the first one! This little girl was 18 months old. She had a
heart defect that had been repaired already through an American non-profit that
sponsors surgeries for children, mostly in China. She was also in a care facility run by this
organization. Her only other issue was
both ear lobes were deformed. That’s just cosmetic. The emotional high was
getting better. I sent the file to the
International Adoption Clinic in Birmingham since this was a heart issue. Within hours, the doctor called me back. As I conversed with her, the emotional high
began to disappear. The child would need
another heart surgery. Okay, we can deal
with that. The doctor expected it would be a fairly simple procedure with only
1 or 2 nights in the hospital and a week’s recovery. Then the deflating blow.
It was very evident from her physical features that she, more than likely, had
Noonan Syndrome. Although she might
never have another symptom from this syndrome, again, there were too many
unknowns. Remember, Jeff and I are
older, especially to be adopting toddlers.
There was a risk that this child might need some lifelong care. What if
we were unable to provide that care for her?
Again, we had to decline the referral. It was much more difficult to
decline the second referral. The emotional low was much greater than the first.
Even though we did not feel we could meet her needs and we are at peace with
the decision, there were so many more questions that followed this one.
What will the next one look like? What will her needs be? What
if we don’t feel we can meet those needs either? When will the Chinese
Children’s Agency get fed up with us and quit sending us referrals? Did we make
a mistake in thinking that God was calling us to adopt again?
So, we get back on the roller coaster and wait………
Did I mention I don’t like roller coasters?
Love and Hugs to all,
Cheri
P.S. Many of you know we have done some fund-raising to help
fund this adoption. We have held two
yard sales. I have sold jewelry. I am making and selling reed baskets, and our
church is helping by selling t-shirts and collecting coins. Jeff will start up
the balloon business soon, and we hope to do well this summer to help fund the
adoption. Jeff is looking for folks who would be willing to help crew. If you are interested in crewing or know someone who might be interested, please email him at rides@ballooningal.com. If you are interested in a balloon flight,
visit www.ballooningal.com. If you are interested in the
baskets, please visit the album on my FB page or www.cherimaddox.com to see pictures. The website is under construction, but we are
trying to get it completed in the next several days.
If you would like to support us financially, we need about
$23,000 more to complete this adoption without going into debt. We now have a way for anyone to make tax
deductible donations to our adoption fund.
Please feel free to share this link with others who may have a heart for
adoption but are unable to adopt a child themselves. You can go to www.adopttogether.org and look for our
family profile (I’m still working on a family photo that will fit in their
spatial guidelines!) or use this address, which will take you directly to our profile: http://adopttogether.org//bring-zoe-home
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