Today, we celebrate six months of having Zoe in our lives.
It is hard to believe that it has been six months. It seems she has been part of our family
forever! So, here’s a little (okay, it ended up being big) update that has
been on my mind for about three months.
Just like all parents, we spent a lot of time picking out a
name for each of the girls. (More about
Kayleigh in Part Two). Zoe Annaliese was
chosen very carefully for our little Ling Ling, which is her Chinese name. Zoe
means “Life” and Annaliese means “Graced with God’s bounty.” So, in effect, it reads “a life graced with
God’s bounty.” Although I thought about the “life” Zoe would have as an adopted
child, I didn’t know at the time we chose her name to what extent it would be so true to her.
For those of you who may not know about the life of an
orphan….basically, there would be none. Some orphanages are clean, well-kept,
and well managed, and the children are well cared for under the circumstances.
Other orphanages are mismanaged, the caretakers are, at best, indifferent and,
at worst, abusive and cruel. Resources
are minimal in many of the orphanages. Yes, she will be fed – most of the time.
Yes, she will be clothed – in hand me downs that may or may not fit. Yes, she will probably receive an education –
of sorts - not nearly as much education as a first born and healthy child will
receive. Yes, she will receive some medical care – but only what is necessary,
and, in some cases, not even that. By
the time she turns 14, she will be ineligible for adoption. Her options will be limited, as orphans are
not recognized by the government. If she is lucky, she will be able to move to
an adult center where she might be able to learn a trade or a skill, but many
of those centers are just as bad as the orphanages. If not, she will be on the
streets, looking for a way to support herself.
You can imagine what ways there are that are available to her. Many
orphans end up in the criminal system.
So, the “life” of an orphan is not really a “life” at all.
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Gotcha Day, December 2013 |
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Gotcha Day, December 2013 |
When Zoe was placed in my arms, she was a content
child. She didn’t cry; she didn’t even
whimper. She hardly grieved the loss of her foster mother or the life she had
lived for 2 ½ years. It was almost as if Zoe knew that the life she was gaining
was much better than the life she was leaving.
At that time, Zoe weighed about 15 pounds at 2 1/2 years of age. She had no muscle tone in her
little body. When she was picked up under the arms, she would literally slide
out of our hands. She could crawl about a foot or so, and then she would stop.
She scooted on her bottom a little to get around. She could barely stand and
could barely support her weight. She refused solid food and would only take
formula and NOTHING else. She freaked out at bath time – screaming at the top
of her lungs – probably because she had rarely had one. Her body odor was quite
unique and strong. It took about 3 baths before she started smelling like a
clean baby. Her teeth were quite yellow
because they had never been brushed, and her breath was horrible. Again, it was
several days before that was remedied. The only “playing” she knew how to do was to
rub the two little fingers on her right hand across her toys over and over
again. She was very quiet and non-verbal. The few noises she did make were
guttural sounds. If she had remained in her foster home, this "life" probably would have continued for several more months until someone became concerned enough about her lack of development.
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December, 2013 |
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December, 2013 |
On the flip side of the coin, she was happy. She laughed and
giggled. She explored and played with the toys that we carried to China. She
entertained herself with whatever she could find in the room to play with. She
began scooting more around our little living room to see what was going on. She
would let any of us hold her. She slept through the night almost every night we
were in China.
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Late December, 2013 |
Today……. Oh, my! We
have a different child than the one we brought home six months ago. She now weighs about 26 pounds! Yes, I have a little chunk on my hands! She
has also grown over an inch in height. Her muscle tone began developing within
days of being handed to us. Finally, someone was actually picking her up and
holding her! She still doesn’t crawl, nor does she scoot – because she is
WALKING all the time, running some of the time, although she still has a ways
to go before she will win any races. She
eats anything I put in front of her and guzzles whatever I give her to
drink. She will feed herself finger
foods, and we are making progress with utensils, although she still prefers
that we do the feeding in that regard. She has a grand time in the bathtub, and only
cries when we wash her hair. Her teeth became relatively white, once we were
able to start brushing. It took a long time to get to the point of actually
being able to use a toothbrush, but she tolerates it well. She will flit
from place to place and room to room, actually playing and exploring. I have to
be careful that I don’t let her get out of my sight for too long or there is no
telling what I might find when I catch up to her. (for example, perched on the
arm of the rocking chair trying to get to the bed in her bedroom! ) She will
easily entertain herself and play on her own for long stretches of time. We
rarely see her rubbing her fingers across things like she did when she came
home. She continues to sleep through the night. She does, however, fight nap time,
but once she gives up the fight, she is out like a light. She will still let
any of us hold her, but favors Mom and Dad. Her vocabulary is growing very
quickly. She will easily say Momma, Daddy, Sissy, Noah, her version of Kayleigh
and Zoe, hungry, milk, eat (usually accompanied by whining
that I am not getting the food to her plate fast enough), red, orange, yellow,
green, blue, purple, pink, and black (although not always with the appropriate
color.) and lots of other words I will not bore you with. Usually, though, it
sounds like babble, and I ask her often if she is speaking Chinese. :)
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March, 2014 |
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April, 2014 |
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Early May, 2014 |
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Late May, 2014 |
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Late May, 2014 |
Her little personality has blossomed. She still laughs and
giggles, even at herself. She has a ready smile and will say “cheese” for the
camera. She claps for herself whenever she accomplishes something. She also
claps at the end of the prayer. (Got to work on the “amen”). She likes to be
held and cuddled, and she will raise her arms to be held often, saying “hold
me”. She screams in delight when Jeff gets home from work or when one of us
comes to pick her up from the nursery. When we tell her not to do something,
she gives you “the look” that says, “I hear you, but I’m not going to do what
you say.” If she doesn’t want to do something, she will stop where she is and
start whining and crying! If she doesn’t get her way, she will do the
same.
Oh, my….
If Kayleigh asks for a toy that Zoe is
holding and Zoe is not ready to give it up, she will very quickly and very
adamantly say “NO!” while pulling the toy closer to herself.
She says “No”, even when she means
“Yes.”
If she is in a different room and
you call “Zoe!” she will yell back “Whatee?”. :)
If she is trying to do something, like climb up on the couch, and she can’t
quite do it herself, she will say “I help.” She has two favorite books right
now – the Colors book and
Brown Bear,
Brown Bear, which sounds more like “browbur” when she says it. She likes
music and will come running when she hears DJ Shuffle on Disney Junior begin to
play. She will also sing “Wheel, roun, roun, beep, beep, beep.” That’s “The
wheels on the bus go round and round and the horn on the bus goes beep, beep, beep” for
those who might have missed the translation.
If Jeff is home and she is wherever I am, she
will look at me and say, “I Daddy.”
So,
she will run off to where Jeff is, then she tells him, “I Mommy” and runs back to me. It goes back
and forth like this until Jeff and I are in the same room.
She will say “Hi” and “Bye Bye” to just about
anyone. Recently, I was in Sam’s and Zoe was with me. She began saying “Hi” to
anyone she saw. A day later, I was somewhere else and a lady stopped us and
asked if we were in Sam’s the day before. She had been the recipient of Zoe’s
“Hi”.
Zoe learns quickly and imitates us often. When we
say something, she will often repeat it right back to us. When I ask her if she
wants some juice, she promptly gets up and sits down in the kitchen floor with
her back to the cabinet.
No, I did not
teach her this, but in her preschool, at snack time, the children have to sit
on the tile part of the floor. She apparently thinks that is what you have to
do when it is snack time.
:) I could go on and on about all the things she
is doing and learning!
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June, 2014 |
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June, 2014 |
What it all comes down to is that Zoe doesn’t just have “life”
– She has “a life graced with God’s bounty”.
And our prayer is that one day both she and Kayleigh will come to know
the Lord Jesus and have truly abundant life. We are forever grateful to those
who had a hand in bringing Zoe home – especially to THE ONE Who placed the
desire in our hearts and brought us to the place where Zoe became ours.
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